Thursday, August 16, 2007

Two times in one week!

Well look at this. Its my second time updating my blog in one week!

Do you ever put too much on your plate? Not food wise, but commitments? I do daycare Mon-Thurs, which isn't too much. But you can bet by the end of the day that I am tired. But on top of that, I signed up for a bible study on Wednesday nights. I am the Treasurer of our PTF (which is the same as the PTF) at my kids' school, we serve Communion and greet once a month at church, and of course I have my quilting classes every other Friday night.

Now this week I have had something going on every single night. And it is kinda freaking my kids out. Never mind that I am home with them all day long, granted with 20 million other children, but I am home. But when I go to leave they lose it. At least the two youngest do. First it starts out with just one hug and kiss, then back to doing whatever they were doing. Then it is just one more hug, this time a little longer, which eventually ends up with them chasing me outside, while Brian is holding them back screaming for Mommy.

I don't know if its an actual fear that I won't come home, that something bad will happen, or the fact that I have been home since they were babies, that they don't like the thought of me being gone. Or simply that I am not home to cater to them.

But anyways, Tuesday I was gone at a PTF meeting until 10. Wednesday I was at my bible study (which ended last night) until 10, and tonight Brian and I are both going to a meeting and then dinner so a sitter will be putting them to bed. Then tomorrow is my quilt class, which I won't be returning home until.....Yup you guessed it 10.

I am feeling extremely guilty. I know that I need sometime to do things, but I hate the meltdowns that happen when I leave, and I hate the fact that I am not home to put the kids to bed.

Next week isn't going to be much better, especially since school is starting, and the meetings are going to be happening for the next couple of weeks.

Is there anything worse than mother guilt? I dare you to find it.

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