Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Its Been a Long Time

OK its time for me to step up a bit. I have been slacking on the blogging, and I forget how soothing it is to come to the computer, poor out my guts, and not have it say a word back.

Today I am going to blog about my current need for a child. Yes I realize I have 3 kids. Yes, I realized they are healthy and I should count my blessings. And I do, every single day I am grateful for my kids, their health, and their constant need to talk back and have attitude. I kid, I kid!

I am 26 now, going on 27 and this overwhelming urge to have children is encompassing my every thought. See my youngest child, William, is 3. 3! That means, that since I have started this baby making service I call pregnancy, this time frame is the longest I have gone without being pregnant.

Now I know what you are thinking. She must be one of those super cute, doesn't gain weight, easy pregnant ladies. Couldn't be further from the truth my friends. I gain on average 50 pounds with each child. My face swells to the size of a watermelon, and the last two pregnancies have been nothing but problems.

So why, you ask? Why do I insist on doing these horrible things to my body? Well for starters I love kids. How else would I be able to do daycare for an average of 8 kids 4 days a week. I also just love big families. Yes in today's day and age, a family of 5 is rather large, but I always thought I would have 5 kids. So while 3 is kind of in the middle, 4 would be more complete.

However Brian, and in case you didn't know he is my husband of 9 years, is perfectly content with 3. See we got married at 17 and 20, and have had kids since we were married. So he is finally happy that we are done with diapers, and bottles. The littlest one is going to be starting school soon and we are planning our first long vacation without the kids. Next August he wants to take a cruise. Just the two of us. Which I am very much looking for. But that means no babies this year.

And the longer we put it off, the bigger the age difference with the kids, the more I won't want to start over. I actually think its all part of his plan to not have anymore.

So as of right now, its a stand off. I'm being a good girl, not dropping the pills down the sink, and listening to his reasoning. But the urge is so strong.

But I'll check in more often and I'll update you. We shall see who wins this face off.

1 comment:

Dixie said...

Tiff, I have no suggestions. I'd be the worst person in the world to offer advice on this topic but I'm praying that y'all will work things out smoothly.