Monday, July 19, 2010

Dear Mama

Its been one week since you went home.

I miss you more than words can say.

Six years. Thats way to long to not see each other. My kids finally know you. The will remember you. You were able to see my house, my family. Everything I have worked so hard for. You loved everything. You made it known how proud you are of me.

I wasn't able to do the same for you.

Two years ago when Ken left you. When he broke your heart and you were thrown into a world of raising an eleven year old son, working nights, and supporting yourself. While your family was three thousand miles away.

I was so worried. I was worried that you couldn't do it. Worried you would fall back into your old darkness of drugs, alcohol, anger, depression. You proved me wrong. And I am glad you did.

You rose from the ashes of that torn relationship. The lies and hurt that were thrown at you. The anger you must have felt, the lonliness. You conquered them all. It is the first time in your life that you are on your own. Both in a relationshiop and financially, and you are doing amazing.

I feel like I'm watching one of my child, the pride I have fills my heart.

But I didn't tell you. And I don't know why. I am sorry for that and I can only hope that telling you know will have the same affect that it would have if I told you while sitting with you. While holding your hand. While looking in your eyes.

I love you. I am so beyond proud of you. I am so lucky to have a mom like you.