Tuesday, September 06, 2005

In a funk

Right now I am in a huge funk. I have so many feelings inside I don't even know where to start. My sister-in-law had a beautiful baby boy this weekend. He is just perfect! I am so happy for them. But at the sometime I am a little sad. See I already have three awesome children. They are perfect to me. Sure they are hard sometimes, but I couldn't love them more. Yet a desire for another child whispers in my ear. I don't know if this is just a passing moment but I am dealing with it.

And then my in-laws. I just feel like I am letting them down on some level. We used to be really close especially my father-in-law. But lately we have just been drifting. It is probably the normal in-law relationship now, I am just not used to it.

Wow this is turning into a rant fest! Next thing on my list. I am starting to put on weight. I have put on 10 pounds. I don't know if this is because I work from home, and I can eat all day, or if is just the lack of exercise. I literally do none. I know I should, but I have no motivation! But my pants are getting tight, and hubby has started to say stuff. Nothing bad at all, but just little things. I know he means well. I really want to be trim and fit!

Well I just looked out my window and there is a squirrel staring at me! Life isn't all bad. In fact my favorite time of year is almost here. Autumn. Time for snuggling under blankets, sweaters, leaves turning, and the smell, just the smell of fall is enough to put me in a good mood!

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