Completely Random

Bang

2010-12-26T17:39:00.000-08:00

Life after suicide is a funny thing. You start to hear all of those jokes, or referances to ending it all, and all of a sudden you are beyond sensitive to them. I can't be angry with people about these things. How could I? But it sucks. It seems like daily someone is joking about hanging themselves. I admit I am overly sensitive. It isn't anyones fault. But it sucks.

Suicide

2010-10-18T20:25:00.001-07:00

There is no easy way to breach this subject. Recently my happy, playful, energetic uncle took his life. He was 52 years old. He had led a difficult life. Drugs and alohol off and on, couldn't really hold down a job for very long. But he was, at least on the outside, one of the happiest guys I knew. He would always be the first to help you with something if you needed it. He was always the one down on the floor playing with the kids. And he was always the one making jokes and laughing.

It is so sad to think of the pain he must have been hiding, the pain that was just below the surface. It nearly breaks me in two to think that he was in so much pain, but couldn't turn to anyone. Could not bring himself to just talk to us.

The details are too hard to talk about right now. Emotions too raw. But I will. Just not sure when.

Target just ain't going to cut it

2010-08-30T07:00:00.000-07:00

Scene one- I am taking my beautiful 11 year old daughter to her new school. We are starting Jr. High and she is going into the sixth grade. Our car is full of nervous energy. Julia slowly stops talking as we approach the school. We pull into the very long driveway. Teachers are standing on the side of the driveway with signs "Welcome Back" "We Missed you" "Have a great first day!" How nice I think! This school is going to rock.

And let me say that I'm sure it will. I did a lot of research on schools. We have attended private school since Julia was in preschool. There were a number of different reasons, class sizes, religion, extra attention, and a small community feel to just name some.

And this new school was a great school.

We get out of the car after a little convincing "I don't want to leave until I see Natalie".....and we head to her classroom. All around us are adorable kids in their uniforms. Some excited to get to class, some could care less.

And then I look at the moms and dads. And its my turn to get nervous. Every car is sparkling clean. Lexus, BMW, Land Rovers, Mercedes. Every outfit is Armani, Nordstrom, Bloomingdale's. Every ring is 2+ carats. Not a single sweatsuit, messy pony tail.

I need to say that I don't care to fit in. I don't care if my wedding ring is modest, I don't care if my jeans aren't Citizens of Humanity, and I don't care that I drive a Yukon. I don't go out in sweatpants, and I always make sure I look presentable. I am a bargain shopper. I like Target and I like Old Navy. I think $36 for a shirt is stupid.

But I wasn't expecting to be thrown into this batch of perfect parents. I felt.....like I was an outcast before we even started the school. I felt like I was being judged before we even made it to the hallway. Not by the parents themselves, but there was a distinct difference between myself and them.

Never have I wanted to run to the store and spend loads of money on clothes so fast. But I didn't. I went home, did an exercise video, and took a nap. But Anthropologie is calling my name. Macys, Nordstroms, Neiman Marcus.

What's a girl to do?! Would you conform a little for the sake of fitting in and making friends? Or be the standout, but not in a good way.

Love Stinks

2010-08-24T11:32:00.000-07:00

Love stinks and the economy sucks.

Ok love doesn't really stink, but I needed an intro.

The economy on the other hand, does suck. Its squeezing the life out of me and my family.

The last four weeks I have sat in front of my computer looking at job after job. I have even sent in my resume to a few. But I have to admit I'm not trying to hard. Why? Well because the amount of money I would have to make to put my kids into daycare and bring home the bacon is insane. Currently I'm a little spoiled. I work from home doing daycare. So I don't have to pay anyone. If one of my kids is sick I'm not missing work, I get paid time off, summer time I don't have to scramble for a sitter.

But daycare isn't paying the bills. Let me say that I don't charge what normal people do. I charge about half. Which is my fault. But I haven't raised my rates in 10 years and now I'm afraid to. I have no idea how to go about increasing rates of my current clients. And there have been no new families knocking down my door lately.

But everytime I send out that resume. Everytime I call for that interview I think about the money. I really don't know how people do it.

I thought we learned to share in preschool

2010-08-10T10:00:00.000-07:00

But apparently I missed that day. Hey I didn't even go to preschool! That could explain a lot....

Anyways! I hate sharing certain things. I hate sharing my nice shoes, my expensive dresses, jewelry and purses. Not even with family. I'm mean. Mean I tell you!

I am your typical bargain shopper. I usually purchase my clothes at Target. Buy backpacks from Old Navy and my shoes I keep forever. I never spend $100 on jeans (excpet that one time) and I never buy $70 t-shirts.

The one thing I do splurge on dresses. Ok two things, shoes. When I need a dress for a wedding, or a nice occasion I will usually spend $150-$200. Still not a ton of money! But a lot of money to me. And shoes.....I will buy Payless if I can find the right ones, but usually I buy Macys. So average $60-$100 for shoes. Again not a lot of money.

But they are mine. And they are my fancy clothes! And I don't wanna share! (jumping up and down like a two year old)

I have certain family memebers who don't always take care of their things. Or other peoples things for that matter. It isn't on purpose of course, they just aren't as careful as I would be. And I got a call this morning asking if I had any fancy dresses. If one could be borrowed. Do you know what I did?

I lied. I lied and said I didn't have any! Another preschool lesson I could have used. Thanks mom and dad.

I lied because I didn't want to share. I lied because this person who wanted to borrow my clothes isn't the same size as me. And I lied because the dresses are my favorite and are no longer made and I can't replace them.

But I feel bad. I feel bad that I lied. And I feel bad that I didn't even give her the option to try the clothes on to see if they would fit. And I feel bad that I am considering hiding them when she comes over tomorrow.

Maybe someday I will grow up. Maybe someday I will share. Maybe someday I will learn not to lie. Or maybe I should just be glad I sent my kids to preschool.

True or False

2010-08-03T13:49:00.000-07:00

True or False?

I do not like my job

True or False?

I got married when I was 17

True or False?

I was 3 months pregnant when I graduated high school

True or False?

I detest my neighbors

True or False?

I love dark and depressing music

True or False?

My sister is my best friend

True or False?

I read gossip websites

True or False?

I have never met my biological father

True or False?

All of my siblings are half or step

True or False?

I've had 6 piercings

True or False?

I dream of death constantly

True or False?

I have never broken a bone

True or False?

I have had a miscarriage

True or False?

My son is not supposed to be alive today

True or False?

I never go to bed before 11:00pm

True or False?

My house is messy

True or False?

Everything on this list

True.

12 years

2010-08-01T13:54:00.000-07:00

12 years ago I walked down the aisle of our church. In a long white dress, with my long white gloves.

We were so young and you were so handsome.

A small ceremony, a great reception, and a long drive to our honeymoon and we were on the long road to being a married couple.

I'm so glad we took the steps, so glad we endured the hardships, so glad we are still happy.

So glad you love me.

Dear Mama

2010-07-19T13:47:00.000-07:00

Its been one week since you went home.

I miss you more than words can say.

Six years. Thats way to long to not see each other. My kids finally know you. The will remember you. You were able to see my house, my family. Everything I have worked so hard for. You loved everything. You made it known how proud you are of me.

I wasn't able to do the same for you.

Two years ago when Ken left you. When he broke your heart and you were thrown into a world of raising an eleven year old son, working nights, and supporting yourself. While your family was three thousand miles away.

I was so worried. I was worried that you couldn't do it. Worried you would fall back into your old darkness of drugs, alcohol, anger, depression. You proved me wrong. And I am glad you did.

You rose from the ashes of that torn relationship. The lies and hurt that were thrown at you. The anger you must have felt, the lonliness. You conquered them all. It is the first time in your life that you are on your own. Both in a relationshiop and financially, and you are doing amazing.

I feel like I'm watching one of my child, the pride I have fills my heart.

But I didn't tell you. And I don't know why. I am sorry for that and I can only hope that telling you know will have the same affect that it would have if I told you while sitting with you. While holding your hand. While looking in your eyes.

I love you. I am so beyond proud of you. I am so lucky to have a mom like you.

CH-CH-CH-Changes

2010-06-28T09:56:00.000-07:00

Every three months or so I get this really antsty feeling. Like something needs to change. My hair is usually at the top of the list. Followed by a tattoo and then something to do with the house.

It should be noted that I have zero tattoos. Not because I'm against them, but because I want to put something meaningful on my body.

Right now I'm sitting at my kitchen desk, dreaming of the Pottery Barn quilt that isn't on sale, picturing where I would put a tattoo and trying to figure out how I can change my hair. Its doubtful I will do anything. But I still long to do something.

What do you do when you get that antsy feeling?

5th Grade Graduation

2010-06-02T09:05:00.001-07:00

My baby girl graduated from elementary school last night. She is off to the big world of Jr High. How does time go by so fast? I can remember bringing her home from the hospital! She has been at her current school for 7 years. She attended preschool there, and her brother and sister will continue there. Its the end of an era, the last time all three kids will be at the same school. I'm a bit sad this morning.

Congrats sweet love.

Crazy Hair Day

2010-05-10T08:32:00.001-07:00

I will let the picture do the talking!

Uniquely Yours?

2010-05-05T10:40:00.000-07:00

Uniquely

I tend to like things that are different. Not ugly, although some of my friends would call it ugly. But....different. I don't want to walk into someones house and see something of "mine" there. That is why it takes me forever to find just the right piece of furniture. And then I will not part with it.

My favorite piece of furniture is my bed. I had been looking for a bed for literally years. Obviously we had a mattress and box springs, but we didn't have a head or foot board. And I wasn't willing to just go to the store and buy one. It had to be something pretty yet masculine, newer but not so new I would cry if it got a scratch.

And so the great Craigslist search ensued. And for months, years I looked. And looked, and looked. Until finally my dream came true. A CalKing (which make it harder to find btw) was posted. And I had to hurry! I emailed the guy, drove 45 minutes to his house and feel in love. It cost me $300 but it was the best money on furniture I could have spent. Its beautiful. And I have never seen anything like it, which makes it the real winner.

Something I finished

2010-04-26T10:03:00.001-07:00

This is Cooper's quilt. Cooper is a little boy who I watch. His parents are also good friends of ours.

I really enjoyed making this quilt. It is one of the first quilts I did completely on my own. The instructions were a bit confusing at times, but overall it was great. And I just can't get over the colors. They worked perfect!

I'm trying to gear myself up to start a new project. The only problem is, I put all of my quilting stuff away. Usually it sits on my dining room table, but since we had a family birthday this weekend I had to put it all away. And it looks so nice!

2010-04-26T08:56:00.000-07:00

I haven't done a "Not Me Monday" in a really long time, but in an effort to blog more here it goes.

Not once during the family party this weekend did I want to smack a certain annoying family memeber. Nope!

I never considering quiting my current job in search for another despite the money difference.

I would never wish for a parent to pick their child up early. I mean I am getting paid to watch their child!

I certainly didn't eat a piece of birthday cake for dinner!

And there is no way, wouldn't consider, asking my daughters team mother what exactly she does, since I'm doing one of her main jobs.

You can visit MckMama who starting the "not me" by clicking the logo up top. And read many other "Not Me's" It makes me feel better!

Fail, epic fail

2010-04-22T14:29:00.000-07:00

If your wondering what my title refers to, don't bother. And don't read my last post; ) I don't know why I bother making promises. I can't keep them obviously! The good news is I have taken some pictures and even downloaded them, I just didn't blog.

A lot has recently happened. I was voted in as PTF President at my kids school. I signed my oldest up for Jr high. My baby turned six, and my middle one lost two teeth. I also finished another quilt. Now that I have learned to blog from my phone, hopefully I will update more.

Pictures

2010-04-05T09:04:00.000-07:00

I am horrible at taking pictures. I don't really know why. Cameras aren't the issue, I always have one. Subjects aren't the issue, with three kids, two dogs and daycare I should have a lot of opportunities.

I just never think about it. But when I do I get a little depressed knowing that I don't have tons of pictures to document the lives of my family.

So even though its been done, and it is kind of boring I'm forcing myself to take a picture and post it everyday. The hard part is going to be uploading. While I can take pictures I suck at getting them on the computer.

So here is goes. Starting tomorrow I hope to have a picture up!

Won't You Be My Neighbor

2010-03-12T12:16:00.000-08:00

Neighbors suck.

No really they do. I have no idea why they hate us. We are quiet, never have parties, keep our yards nice and clean....what more could you want?

Since we moved in 3.5 years ago we have had nothing but issues. The first issue was my husbands company van. The neighbors didn't want it parked on the street. It didn't matter that they have a broken down old as dirt green truck parked in the street. They didn't want a nice, new, clean white van out there.

Then it was the chickens. Yes we have five chickens. In a coop mind you. No rosters. Oh but our chickens are noisy and smelly and we don't like them. They are in our backyard and we keep in clean so suck it people.

Now its our dog. I am home ALL day long. I literally leave for 30 minutes in the morning, and 30 minutes in the afternoon. The dogs are outside in a kennel on the side of the house. Apparently they bark sometimes. What freaking dog doesn't?! But my dogs bark is so bad that they have to call the cops.

Well the justice of that dear neighbors, is that the cop comes and sits outside. Comes to my door sypathizes because he has the same dog and then tells me he hasn't heard anything, so have a nice day ma'am.

Thats right spinless neighbors. Cops are on my side. So again. SUCK IT.

Have a nice day :)

Strep

2010-02-23T09:20:00.000-08:00

Sorry for the absense!

And this post isn't going to be long either.

We have been hit hard in this house by strepthroat. First William, then Victoria, now Julia.

Lets just hope I don't get it or you may never see me again ;)

Pomegranate Jelly

2010-02-01T11:30:00.000-08:00

I love pomegranates. Who doesn't? The yummy tartness of the seeds are just perfect for making Jelly. Now pomegranate jelly isn't that hard. It can be extremely time consuming though. At least the way I used to do it. I have a new and improved way!

First you are going to need about 10 pomegranates. I am lucky enough to have in-laws with a tree, so I don't have to purchase them, because they can be pricey.

Now the time consuming part is getting the seeds out of the pomegranates. The outer layer is pretty bitter so you don't want to try pressing the seeds out. You want to scoop them out. I used to soak the whole pomegranate in water, and while wearing gloves remove the membrane from the seeds. This would take forever. Now, thanks to a friend watching a cooking show. I simply cut the pomegranates in half, and pound the back with a large spoon. Its that easy. De seeding one pomegranate takes about 3 minutes, vs 20-30 minutes of the old way.

Once you have all of the seeds you are going to need to crush the seeds to get the juice. I used to put the seeds in a cone shaped colander (I'm sure there is a fancy name that I don't know) and pound and push and crush the seeds with a long tool that looks like a rolling pin. Again, not sure of the fancy name. Recently I have found that you can put the seeds into a food processor, run that baby for a few seconds. Then put your seeds/juice into a cheese cloth and drain the juice.

Once you have your juice (about 4 cups) Your ready to start cooking the jelly. Now would be a good time to place your canning jars into the heating cycle of your dishwasher. The hotter the jars, the better the seal. Also start boiling your water for the lids.

Place the pomegranate juice, 1/4 lemon juice in a large pan. Add some pectin. Stir over high heat. Keep stirring, or your jelly will burn. Once the rolling boil comes, a boil that cannot be stirred down, add 5 cups of sugar. Let boil hard for about 2 minutes and then remove from the heat. Your going to notice a film over the top, just remove that with a spoon, and then start filling up your jars. Leave about 1/2 an inch from the top.

Allow the jars to cool, and soon enough you will hear the seal of the jars. Enjoy!

Oh Animal

2010-01-13T13:28:00.000-08:00

Happy Hump Day.

My what cute children you have!

2009-12-17T13:09:00.000-08:00

Our family is an excellent one. And my children are beautiful. Of course I'm biased. The kids recently had their christmas concerts. They got really dressed up and let mom take some pictures.

They started like this.

And then I requested a "mafia" picture

A lovey picture

And ended with a crazy set

I love my kids.

Coffee table 1, William 0

2009-11-16T08:54:00.000-08:00

This weekend was chugging along like any normal weekend. Brian was abalone diving, Julia was at a girl scout weekend in the city. Victoria, William and I were left home.

We did some shopping, Victoria got her ears pierced, and I did some quilting. Just a nice relaxing time.

And then Sunday happened.

Sunday Brian decided to take us out to breakfast, which isn't normal. But it was good food. After breakfast we went to the Dollar Tree. The kids' school is doing Operation Christmas child. You make a box of goodies for a child who might not get a Christmas present. I was very proud that all three of my kids wanted to help out someone less fortunate than them.

After some shopping it was time to go home, watch football and get ready for a Mother Daughter tea party with the girl scouts.

And that's when this happened.

Victoria was rushing past her brother and gently, lovingly? pushed him into our coffee table. Now let me say the coffee table has rounded edges, so apparently we are lucky that he didn't need any stitches.

Needless to say the coffee table has been removed from our living room. Not only because it bruised my baby, but right before William was pushed into it, Victoria was pushed also and broke the small glass square inside the coffee table.

Never a dull moment. At least I can say that.

P.S. Don't forget about the great giveaway by Oroweat bread!

October was here....

2009-11-03T11:51:00.000-08:00

October is my favorite time of the year. Halloween is one of my favorite holidays. Every year we go to Half Moon Bay, pick out our pumpkins, visit the ocean and just have a great time.

Pumpkin picking doesn't really take us that long. Nothing like it takes us to find our christmas tree...but thats another post for another day. It usually the biggest pumpkins we can find that we take.

Then its off to the ocean. The ocean is one of my favorite places. I could sit and stare for hours, and thankfully Brian and the kids are just like me.

The following week we carved our lovely pumpkins. We spent the day carving, the children all did their own this year. Well ok, I helped William but the girls went solo and did a great job! Once we carved them, we put them outside and waited for dark. And of course I forgot to light them. So we wake up the sleeping children to see their lighted pumpkins and then usher them off to bed!

Oroweat Review

2009-10-26T08:06:00.000-07:00

Want to be entered in a contest?! Of course you do, so hop on over to here and enter to win!

Good luck!

Sometimes Life Gets in the Way

2009-10-19T09:20:00.000-07:00

This week has been very hectic. My sister had her first baby. My oldest got lice, my youngest for a 103.5 fever, I worked all weekend, hosted a huge fundraiser, attended a 75th birthday for my Nana, saw some much loved out of town relatives, started a new baby in my childcare, endured a horrific storm, cried to my brother in law on the phone, and just about snapped.

I'm trying to get myself back together. Until then, here is my nephew, Henry James.

In which the camera breaks

2009-09-21T08:57:00.000-07:00

I attended a wedding this weekend. The wedding of my once beloved cousin who is a few years older than me. Why once beloved? Well she is still loved, but I haven't seen her in about....5 years. Recently connected with her again on Facebook and was invited to the wedding.

I actually had a good time. I wasn't really expecting to. See my family is weird. They don't talk to me. Why? No idea. I was 15 when my mom moved to South Carolina and once she left they kind of slowly stopped calling my sister and I. So I honestly say I don't put much effort into the relationships. Maybe I'm just as bad as they are.

But I took my camera and got a few good shots. Then the thing breaks. Won't turn on at all. And I know its not the battery. So I'm in the market. Brian just wants to try a battery replacement, but I want new! Of course I probably won't once I look at the prices of new ;)

Monday...I mean Tuesday is here

2009-09-08T09:46:00.001-07:00

This weekend was fun and full! Saturday I had to work from 9:30-5pm. Incase you didn't know I work part time at my mother-in-laws quilt shop. I really enjoy working there, but to be honest its hard to work the weekends.

Sunday I took the kids to an Oakland A's game. It was the first MLB game for William, and I think the 3rd for the girls. They actually lasted the whole game! It helped that we were up in the shade and away from crowds so the kids could actually act like kids. Unfortunaley Brian had to work this day. But it made up for two days he had off during the week. So I can't complain too much.

Monday was a great family BBQ with my parents, and sister and her hubby. We had good food, great conversation, and loads of fun in the pool. I also have some great pictures of a water pyramyid we did, but those are on my dad's camera so we will have to wait!

Back in the swing of things

2009-09-02T11:14:00.000-07:00

The kids have now been in school for a week and a half. The first week was bliss. Then the homework started. Wow! I don't remember having hours of homework at the age of 10, and boy is my Julia hating it! Usually we have at least 15 minutes of crying and freaking out. Of course anyone else is better to help her, for some reason we are like oil and vinegar in some cases.

Victoria isn't too bad, she has a lot more than last year, but she isn't overwhelmed yet.

And little William just loves that he has homework. Oh just way love...just wait!

First Day of School

2009-08-26T12:06:00.000-07:00

My little loves all started school this week.

Julia is now in the 5th and final grade at her current school.

Victoria is in 2nd and now walking to class alone.

And my little baby, William, is in Kindergarten.

They had a great day, loved their teachers and didn't have homework. I'm sure it will change by the end of the week, infact I will be suprised if I don't have a hard morning, or a grumpy child doing homework by Friday. But for today, they are happy.

Still here!

2009-08-17T09:52:00.000-07:00

I've been gone for three weeks. I have had things to post, but no time to do it! We went camping, celebrated our 11th wedding anniversary, making made dashed to get everything for school, working, making two quilts, quilting two quilts, taking trips to the aquarium..........

I'll post in more detail later!

Stellan

2009-07-27T08:50:00.003-07:00

Right now Stellan is having a very hard time. Nobody knows what is going to happen next, so if you have a second to spare, please lift this little guy up in prayer!

Not Me Monday!

2009-07-13T09:15:00.001-07:00

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

Its Monday again. Another week to work! Woo! But also another week to express what I would never, ever in a million years do.

Today I didn't spend $55 on hair products in hopes of turning my dull wavy hair into a beautiful mass of curls.

And after trying the $55 of product, I wasn't secretly excited they didn't work so I could return them.

Today I didn't skip my morning exercise and promise myself I will do it after lunch.

I am not thinking of eating a BLT and Dr Pepper for breakfast.

And I do not have piles of laundry upstairs that need to be folded and washed!

Ok its your turn!

First Quilt

2009-07-08T10:42:00.000-07:00

A few friends of mine are posting their very first quilt. So I thought I would show you mine.

I made it about 7 years ago. The fabric isn't the best, but it was for my first daughter and I really wanted to make her something.

So here it is!

Apricot Jam

2009-06-23T13:39:00.000-07:00

I am blessed to have in-laws that have apricot and pomegranet trees.

So during the summer time I get to make jam. Here is the first batch.

I won't go into great detail but you start first with the apricots

Then you chop them up, removing the pits and let them sit in a mixture of sugar and lemon juice. After you let them come to a boil and the foam starts.

After the foam starts you need to stir stir stir!

And then you transfer to jars and you have your jam!

Not me!!

2009-06-15T12:32:00.000-07:00

Today is not me Monday. So.....

Today I did not text my husband how much I hate summer.

I also haven't had to put my 5 year old in time out 3 times in the past 20 minutes for talking back.

I didn't print out 30 plus pages....of the wrong forms that I need to apply for.

I am not procrastinating cleaning my house. Moving the daycare toys, folding laundry, making my bed......

And I will not enjoy going to work tonight just to get a little me time.

Finished

2009-06-09T14:34:00.001-07:00

I think the mommy liked it!

Busy Busy

2009-05-28T12:53:00.000-07:00

I know I have been missing but I have a good reason! I have been trying to finish a quilt for a girlfriends baby shower this Saturday. It is very adorable if I do say so!!

Not Me! Monday

2009-05-18T09:36:00.000-07:00

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

~So far today I did not eat toast and soda for breakfast.

~I did not search in vain for some kind of chocolate only to settle for a spoonful of frosting.

~I did not want to yell at a child who was being mean to my child.

~I did not put off creating the final budget of the year while surfing the web.

~I did not secretly wish for my daughter to lose her softball game. But only because if she won I wouldn't be able to make the game. If she lost I would be able to make the championship.

So what about you? What did you NOT do today?

And baby makes 6?

2009-05-13T10:24:00.000-07:00

Since I got pregnant very young and started my family so early I have been way ahead of my friends. While they were all partying it up, going on long vacations I was nursing or changing diapers or scrambling for a sitter. Don't get me wrong I love/loved every minute of it. But it was hard. Now that I my youngest is 5 all of my friends are pregnant!

Which means of course that my clock starts ticking. And baby fever starts to take over. But here is the thing, while of course I would love another little baby, do I really want another baby? Can I really support another baby? When you really start outlining the reasons not to have a baby it can be really daunting. And you actually start to ask how anyone affords a baby. But another soft cuddly baby? Ohhh my heart melts!

Urban Dictionary

2009-04-29T11:08:00.000-07:00

I got nothin'

So lets look at Urban Dictionary and names.

Brian
Tiffany
Julia
Victoria
William

What does your name mean?

God, are you there? It's me Tiffany

2009-04-21T12:57:00.000-07:00

Hi God,

I know you are busy but I have a question for you. Lately I have read numerous reports of mommies, daddies, and babies passing away. Now I realize we all die someday, but why does it seem that the bad guys are living and the good ones are leaving us? Sure I know "only the good die young..." but seriously? That isn't a great answer, heck it is not even a good answer.

Take this family, they lost their son. He was only a few months old, and it wasn't through any fault of their own. Or how about this family, they lost their baby girl. And look at how precious she was! What about this family, a mommy and a wife was taken. I know there are countless others, I just don't know them all.

I know it is not right to question You. I know everything is done for a reason. But it would sure be nice to know the reason for these. I would love to know why the guy who killed someone's daughter/son/wife/mother/husband/father is sitting in jail right now, while the ones who really wanted to stay....who were making a difference....who meant the world to their families....they are gone.

If you have a minute, I would love for you to shine some light on this. But I know your busy. Hopefully someday it will all make sense.

Thanks,

Tiffany

So Much More from BlogHer

2009-04-14T18:58:00.000-07:00

Everyday I come onto my blog, think of something to write, forget what I was going to write and instead checkout the 4 blogs of the day. It is through these 4 blogs of the day that I get some excellent reading. Some are fun for the day, some I bookmark and check back regularly. A few are funny, sometimes too serious, other times heartbreaking.

In the past few days I have read about two precious babies who were taken from their loving mothers and fathers. Thalon Bruce Myers and Maddie Spohr. I don't know these families personally, and I can't feel their pain, but my heart breaks. I cannot imagine the pain they are going through and will endure.

I can't do much for them. Donate to help with costs, donate to their charities. But I can pray for them. I can think of them and lift them up. And if I hadn't taken the time to explore the blogs of the day I would have never known. And some might say that wouldn't be so bad because I wouldn't know of the pain, but I say it would have been terrible, because while my prayers may not be known about, they can't hurt. Hopefully in the dark of the night, or the quiet of the day, my prayer might reach them and they can feel a small hug, a small thought that someone, somewhere cares enough to try and help them, the only way they know how.

To the parents of Maddie and Thalon I am praying for you.

How did this happen?

2009-04-02T09:29:00.000-07:00

I'm 28. Almost 29. Married, mother of three. Treasurer of our school PTF. So how did it happen that I fall in lust with Robert Pattinson? I think its getting to the creepy stage, the little bit obsessed stage. But dammit he is cute! I have now watched Twilight 2 times since Friday. This might not seem like a lot. But for me, someone who hasn't seen 90% of the movies out there, this is huge. I even convinced my husband to watch it with me. I had a small crush on him prior to the movie. However he is just so loving and tender as Edward Cullen I can't help it. He is six years my junior though. So does that make me a creepy older woman? He does share a birthday with my husband. Coincidence? Ah well, obvioulsy I'm happily married and not planning on stalking Robert. But I can still swoon when I see him. Somethings you are never to old for.

Hello Again

2009-03-11T08:58:00.000-07:00

As luck would have it Kyle McLaren will not be leaving the Sharks to play for the Flyers. This pleases me greatly! However he is still not playing in the NHL because we cannot afford his salary. I was informed that his salary does not count against us during playoff time. So things might look up!

In other news I'm up to my eyeballs in activities. PTF, softball, work, horseback riding lessons and big company parties that are this Saturday. For which I still don't have a dress. Yay!

Good-Bye Kyle

2009-03-04T15:37:00.000-08:00

Today is a sad day. Kyle McLaren has been traded to the Philadelphia Flyers. We will miss you Big Mac.

Too Much Time

2009-01-27T09:24:00.000-08:00

Last night I'm laying in bed. Its around 12:30am. And my mind won't shut off. What am I thinking you ask? Well it should be really important things. Like where my daughter will go for Junior High, or will California make it through the mess of a budget we have. How about will the economy survive?

Nope, I'm laying there thinking I haven't blogged in a few days and I have nothing worthy to blog about. And as I lay there thinking I have nothing worthy to write about my mind finally drifts to sleep.

So here you go people. A very boring post.

Two years in the making

2009-01-20T13:13:00.000-08:00

My son, William is going to be 5 on April 20th. For two years I have been working on a pirate quilt for him. His sisters each have one, and he wants his own. This weekend I went on a quilt retreat with my Mother-in-laws store, Prairie Queens Quilt Shop. We had a great time and I actually got a bunch done!

My goal is to finish it by his birthday this year, which means I really need to get on it!

Part of the reason it is taking my so long, I decided to do a compass as the center of the quilt. A compass that requires paper piecing. Which I have never done before. And I like my points to match, which is a big deal in this type of quilt.

The borders aren't done yet. And the top needs some work, I don't want such a big space between the borders and the compass. But anyways, this is my way of encouraging myself to finish this quilt. I will update regularly.

The big 10

2009-01-19T08:32:00.000-08:00

My oldest Julia is now 10 years old. Double digits people. She was having a very hard time with this. Apparently when you hit double digits you are old! I tried to convince her that getting older was great, but she didn't believe me. But I was able to give her a killer birthday instead.

It started Saturday morning. She has wanted to do horseback riding lessons for the longest time, and has been on the waiting list since September. On Friday I decided to call and see if any Saturdays had open, and to my surprise one had, it is started on the 17th, which is her actual birthday. So that morning when she woke up I told her about her new lessons and she flipped! Over the moon happy. She was able to ride the horse for a full hour, and has at least 7 more classes.

Then after the lessons the family went to lunch at The Olive Garden. Julia got to pick and it is her favorite place to eat.

We came home and rested for a bit, then had to get ready for a Shark game. We had gotten four tickets, so we took our two girls, and William stayed home with grandma and papa. Julia is a huge Shark fan, but the biggest surprise......We paid to get a birthday message on the scoreboard for her, and a visit from Sharkie! The teams mascot. He came up to our seats and gave her a gift bag, and opened the gifts with her, for a good five minutes during the game. It was amazing, and the best $45 I have spend in a long time. Julia told me it was the best day of her life.

So Happy Birthday my big 10 year old. I love you so very much!

Good Bye 2008, Hello 2009!

2008-12-31T12:57:00.000-08:00

1. What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before?

Went to Hawaii

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

No, not even CLOSE. But I will make new ones.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Nope

4. Did anyone close to you die?

No thankfully

5. What countries did you visit?

This one.

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?

Patience.

7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

First vacation kid free

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Being a wife and mom

9. What was your biggest failure?

Probably being a wife and mom

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

No but my husband broke his collar bone

11. What was the best thing you bought?

The Wii is so much fun!

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

........

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

........

14. Where did most of your money go?

Food, Clothes, Maui, Tuition

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Maui

16. What song will always remind you of 2008?

Probably Living on a Prayer, since I went to see Bon Jovi in concert

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? Neither.
b) thinner or fatter? Neither.
c) richer or poorer? poorer

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Laughed.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Yelled.

20. How did you spend Christmas?

Running all over town to be with the people we loved

21. Did you fall in love in 2008?

I stayed in love

22. What was your favorite TV program?

Dexter

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

I don't hate anyone.

24. What was the best book you read?

The Twilight series

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?

Indie music

26. What did you want and get?

A blue plate. I desperately wanted that. And a new wedding ring.

27. What did you want and not get?

A new coffee table

28. What was your favorite film of this year?

I haven't seen any new movies!!!

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I turned 28. And sadly I cannot remember what I did!

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Sleep.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?

Same as always. Jeans, hoodies, flipflops.

32. What kept you sane?

Trips shopping with my sister

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Well there is my beautiful vampire Edward. I think he has a real name, I just don't know it.

34. What political issue stirred you the most?

The election in general.

35. Who did you miss?

My mom

36. Who was the best new person you met?

I didn't meet anyone new. But all of my friends are pretty great.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008.

You can only trust yourself.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

"So for those of you falling in love, keep it kind, keep it good, keep it right. Through yourself in the midst of danger, but keep one eye open at night."

Stitches and Broken Bones

2008-12-11T13:11:00.000-08:00

Happy Late Thanksgiving and with the way I'm getting around to blogging I might as well say Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Things are crazy. Brian fell at work and broke his collar bone in three places a few weeks back. So he will be off of work for about a month. At Christmas. Which is bittersweet. I also have two weeks of at Christmas, but darn if the money wouldn't have been nice!

And last weekend my William who is four, decided to split his lip open and get four stitches. He took it like a champ though. I was totally amazed!

I am done with my Christmas shopping. Wrapping is 90% done, decorations are all up. But baking hasn't even started!

So until next time.....Stay busy!

And the winner is

2008-11-14T07:06:00.000-08:00

The winner for the photo contest entry is Victoria and her cake! Thanks to everyone who voted.

Photo Fun

2008-11-13T09:45:00.000-08:00

Hi Everyone,

I'm thinking of entering a "Fun with Food" contest I saw at 5 minutes for mom.

Can you help me pick your favorite shot? Just leave me a comment and let me know. Thanks!

If I Only Had a....Pen

2008-09-25T09:18:00.000-07:00

So its been awhile, 3 months, but who is counting right? Well that just shows you how uneventful my life has been. But on to my story.

Its September, and that means Hockey is back. My family loves hockey, and we are Shark Pass Holders. Which means we love our team and buy 10 games before the season opens, but can't afford to buy season tickets.

Season ticket holders get a lot of perks that us Shark Pak holders don't. For instance, the are invited to the Teal and White game. What is that you ask? It is a night where the players on the Sharks sign autographs for an hour, and then play a scrimmage game. Which means, the team breaks in half and plays each other.

There is free food, free drinks, free face painting, pictures etc.

I was fortunate enough to get invited by my daughters old 3rd grade teacher. He is also a huge Sharks fan and we talk often about the team. Well at first he only had two tickets. Which left me in a tight spot. See my husband and I usually go to the games. I do take Julia, but it has to be on a weekend or a night when she isn't getting up at 6:30 the next morning. But her favorite players were going to be there signing autographs, so I wanted to take her. Well about 2 hours before we were supposed to go, Dustin (3rd grade teacher) informs me he has 3 extre tickets, and would love if I used the thrid ticket for Julia. Awesome!

So we all head to the arena, Julia is beyond excited. We meet up with Dustin, Stacy, and her son Hunter. Since the lines are so very long, we must pick who we want to see. Julia has two favorites, Joe Thornton and Jonathan Cheechoo. She picked Joe Thornton. Mostly because she already has a signed stick from Cheechoo. So we get inline. And we wait, and wait, and wait. For about an hour.

Well down the long line of people, I notice an usher walking. He is informing everyone, that since the players need to get ready for the game, there will be no more autographs. Huge disappointment. So I start walking to the front of the line, since everyone is leaving, hoping I might get to sneak up with Julia. But nope, there weren't letting anyone through.

So we decide to just hang out around the area he was signing, waiting for the game. And what do you know. I turn around and there is Joe walking down the stairs. Well I'm not the only one who noticed this, and people start running towards him, ushers are pushing people back, women are screaming, it was a mad house.

Well Stacy and I scramble to get Hunter and Julia and we shove them into this mess of people and yell to Joe, "Joe will you sign their jerseys?!" Well he stopped and said "Sure, do you have a pen?" And this folks, is where I win the Mother of the Year award. A pen? Stacy? Nope, and the ushers whisk him away.

It was awful. Thats the only way to describe it. Stacy and I both felt horrible. Oh and to rub it in, Brian says, "I told you to bring a pen!" Which in his defense, he did. He asked me before we left, but I was so sure they would have pens at the table where they were signing autographs!!!! And they did. At the table.

Bring on the awards people, it doesn't get any better than this!

Just for fun

2008-07-23T15:13:00.001-07:00

So when you have nothing to blog about....except how your 4 year old son keeps telling everyone that he ate dinner at the "orange owl place" then you steal a silly name survey.

1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME (first pet and current car)---Sugar Yukon

2. YOUR GANSTA NAME (favorite ice cream flavor and fave cookie)---Mint Chocolate Chip (not very intimidating)

3. YOUR FLY GUY/GAL NAME (first initial of first name, first three letters of your last name)--- T-Tho

4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal)---Orange Shark

5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born)---Ann Fremont

6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first)---Tho-Ti

7. SUPERHERO NAME: (”The” + 2nd favorite color, favorite drink)--- The Orange Dr. Pepper

8. NASCAR NAME: (the first names of your grandfathers)---Joseph George

9. STRIPPER NAME: ( the name of your favorite perfume/cologne/scent, favorite candy)--- Fantasy Twix

10. WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother’s & father’s middle names ) --- Ellen John

11. TV WEATHER ANCHOR NAME: (Your 5th grade teacher’s last name, a major city that starts with the same letter)---Bernstein Brooklyn

12. SPY NAME/BOND GIRL: (your favorite season/holiday, flower)--- Fall Hibiscus

13. CARTOON NAME: (favorite fruit, article of clothing you’re wearing right now + “ie” or “y”)-- Banana Hoody

14. HIPPY NAME: (What you ate for breakfast, your favorite tree)--- Milk Willow

15. YOUR ROCKSTAR TOUR NAME: (”The” + Your fave hobby/craft, fave weather element + “Tour”)---The Reading Rain

OK, now it's your turn!

Father and Son

2008-07-23T12:24:00.000-07:00

I work Monday evenings. I work all day and then go to work for my mother in law at her quilt store. This is a nice time for my husband to take over the night role of putting the kids to bed.

This Monday however was a bit different. My girls were gone, Julia out of town with my brother and sister in law, and Victoria was spending the night at my uncles house. So I figured this would be a good time for Brian and William, Father and Son, to have a fun night together.

Well Brian decided it would also be a good night to introduce William to the lovely family establishment known as Hooters.

Lovely.

Simplicity

2008-06-25T10:31:00.000-07:00

I think everyone desires a little bit of simplicity in their everyday world. I know I do. I love a clean house. Everything in its place, looking nice and clean. And yet my house is one constant mess. As I type this I look at my desk and I have a cereal bowl, glass, christmas ornament, hair brush, lotion, cell phone, three different calendars, and dog leash.....I could go on, but I am embarrassing myself.

So I start each day with these great plans to clean the house. Put everything in its spot, and clean, clean, clean. However my day doesn't usually goes as I plan. I usually work, then have a million other things to do. But my plans and ideas are great!

Thinking about being simple. I desire the samething for my appearance. I love looking clean and put together. The clean part I always have undercontrol. The put together part....not so much.

See I don't like to blow dry my hair. However my hair is this giant frizz ball since having kids, and needs attention. A lot of attention. And that requires time. Which I don't have, and even if I did, I don't want to devote!

Makeup is usually nicely done. But I only wear mascara, so I can't act like I'm doing a super job.

Clothes. I live in jeans and t-shirts. On the rare occasion that I go out, I dress up, but I can't seem to find that perfect balance of cute t-shirt and jeans. You know the one I'm talking about, the kind of simple jeans and shirts the models or actresses wear and look totally chic. Yeah, I can't pull that off.

Where am I going with this post? I have no idea. I usually have these feelings after I go to a school function and see all of the cute moms, or I go to someones house and see how totally perfect it looks.

I guess its something to desire....a goal if you will....to shoot for.

Perfection

2008-06-12T09:07:00.000-07:00

I'm a bit picky when it comes to lipstick and mascara. In the lipstick department, I am constantly on the look for the perfect shade, the right feel, the longlasting, non sticky.

In the mascara department I look for a perfect blend of black, that doesn't clump, and makes my lashes long and full.

For the lipstick, the perfect shade was found about three years ago. Almost at this exact time of year. My sister-in-law were shopping for her makeup for her wedding. We were at Macy's, at the Clinique counter. Now let me stop here, and say that I have never purchased anything from a counter at a department store. Unless it was clothes. I have a fear of paying high prices, hating it, and not wanting to return it. But anyways, so we are trying on stuff, and I actually found it. Uptown Nude, in All Day lipcolor. It was a perfect touch of looking like you have something on your lips, but not too obvious. Exactly what I like.

So I bought one. And there in lies the problem. It is widely known in my circle of friends, once I actually like something, it stops being made. And that is exactly what happened. So I held on to this perfect lipcolor for 2 years. Yes that might be too long, but it never got old and yucky, and I didn't use it all the time. I reserved it for those special times I wanted to look amazing.

Well in January of this year, I lost it. I was in Las Vegas, had it in my cute purse, and my purse opened and before I knew what happened my lipcolor, along with my new cell phone, fell out. Talk about ruining a night of dancing in a club. Initially I was very upset about the phone. (Still am, some little bastard had it and even tried to use it!) I never did get it back.

But the phone is replacable. Sure exepensive, but still doable. The lipcolor? Not so much. It wasn't even found on Ebay. I was crushed. But I never gave up hope.

Monday comes around, and I am doing my normal search, and I found it! There is was, on Ebay, for cheaper than the stores! I held my breath, it was a "buy it now" item. So I did, and waited on pins and needles for it to arrive.

It came yesterday. It was perfect. In the box, never used. I'm in love.

Now if I can find the perfect mascara, (and bra for that matter) my great search will be over.

Summer

2008-06-10T14:15:00.000-07:00

It is summertime. School is out, and the fun begins. Our summer started with a fun trip to a local carnival. It cost me $50 in tickets, but the kids had a great time. Then a nice fun day of shopping. With three kids. I think they hate me now. Followed by dinner and UFC fights with my dad and family for Father's Day.

Not bad for the first weekend I guess. This weekend is consisting of swim lessons, swim party, and trying to relax. I'm afraid my kids are going to be totally bored. It is hard to find a good balance when you work full time. However there are a lot of local things to do, we just need to carve time out to do them. And I don't think anytime is more important to spend together as a family, than summertime.

Please Pray

2008-06-02T11:16:00.000-07:00

I have been following the life of Jacob Ryan Fahmer. And this past weekend he has passed away. He was 138 days old and born with Trisomy 18. Please pray for his family.

Idaho

2008-05-29T20:14:00.000-07:00

Idaho is a very long drive from San Jose. 11 1/2 hours to be exact. With three kids under the age of 10, the trip seems even longer. Driving at night, while being awake all day makes in unbearable.

However once you are there, it is worth it.

My Newest Creation

2008-02-24T19:51:00.000-08:00

I made this baby quilt for my sister-in-law and soon to be here neice Addision. Its a Yellow Brick Road pattern and very easy. While I'm happy with the outcome, the YBR pattern was harder than I thought, simply because there is no directions telling you were to place which block, and how to avoid this color touching that color. But it turned out really cute.

My next one will be all about lemons. So stay tuned.

Happy Valentine's Day

2008-02-14T08:51:00.001-08:00

I got nothing

2008-02-13T09:55:00.001-08:00

I have nothing for you today folks. So I'm doing a Meme from Poppy.

What were you doing 10 years ago?
10 Years ago I was a senior in high school. I was 17, planning my prom.

What were you doing 1 year ago?
1 year ago I was doing pretty much the samething. Daycare, shuttling kids back and forth.

Five snacks you enjoy:

1. Chips
2. Kudos
3. Popcorn
4. Carrots
5. Chocolate

Five songs that you know all the lyrics to:

1. Don't Dream Its Over by Crowded House
2. How Can I Stop by the Rolling Stongs
3. Everlong by Foo Fighters
4. Stop and Stare by OneRepublic
5. Stronger by Kanye West

Five things you would do if you were a millionaire:

1. Pay off bills
2. Buy a house
3. Invest
4. Move my mom here
5. Go shopping

Five bad habits:

1. Not drinking water
2. Procrastinating.
3. Worrying about things I can’t fix.
4. Stressing over things that are being fixed
5. Being Messy

Five things you like doing:

1. Quilting
2. Reading
3. Playing with my kids
4. Going to Shark games
5. Going out to dinner

Five things you would never wear again:

1. Stretch pants
2. Scrunchies
3. Tummy shirts
4. Ill fitting bras
5. Mom Jeans

Five favorite toys:

1. Computer
2. Cell phone
3. Guitar aero
4. Kitchen aid
5. Sewing machine

If you’re reading this, consider yourself tagged.

Lent

2008-02-12T09:27:00.000-08:00

Do you give anything up for Lent? I gave up soda. Well I gave it up last year, and I gave it up this year.

I've been thinking about this. At Lent, when you give something up, are you supposed to give it up for good? Do you use it as a time to meditate on the Lord? I'm not catholic, I'm christian, but I figure I can still do Lent. Right?

And if I'm doing Lent, but my church isn't, do I practice Lent everyday but Sunday? Or do I go the full 40 days straight through, as a way to remember the 40 days Jesus was tempted. Because I really don't think Satan gave him a day off on Sunday. Right?

Any thoughts on this subject, and how you celebrate it, please share.

I'm rocking the Dots

2008-02-08T13:13:00.001-08:00

*Job interview today. It went really great, but I'm afraid they gave me too many options for me to make a decision.

*William doesn't sleep you all know that. But now there might be an actual reason. He is seeing a specialist this coming Friday for possible tonsil and adnoids removal. I don't want him to have surgery but if we can sleep I'll be happy.

*My dogs are filthy and smelly, but I don't feel like dragging a 90 pound dog who is afraid of the water into the shower.

*Starting in one week, I won't be home any nights except Sunday. Between dance, piano, youth group, softball, choir, working out and working at the quilt store, I'll never be home.

*I wish I had more time for quilting.

*I wish I had more money for quilting.

Ah well, lets shuffle

1.You Rock My World- Micheal Jackson
2.Highway Man- Kanye West
3.Stop and Stare- OneRepublic
4.Billie Jean- Micheal Jackson
5.Everlong- Foo Fighters
6.Apologize- Timberland
7.LoveStoned- Justin Timberlake
8.Hotel California- The Eagles
9.I'll Be Waiting- Lenny Kravitz
10.No One- Alicia Keys

Heath Ledger

2008-01-30T11:51:00.000-08:00

Heath Ledger passed away last week, as I'm sure most of you know. He was an amazing actor. I enjoyed watching him. He played some amazingly tough rolls and acted as if they came naturally.

Despite the cause of his death, he was one of my favorite actors. And today I'm a little peeved at all the negative media. Someone is posing as his father to get information. There are private videos of him possibly doing drugs that the news is showing. Talk of overdose in the media.

I think its a shame that this persons personal life is dragged through the mud when he isn't even here to defend himself. Can you imagine having every stupid thing you did in your past brought up after you died?

Why can't we just let celebrities who leave this world too soon rest in peace? Why can't they be remembered for the wonderful things they did, instead of the stupid/unfortunate things they did.

So far 2008 isn't that great

2008-01-23T09:29:00.000-08:00

Its been roughly a month since I updated this thing, and to be honest I was just waiting for something fun and great to happen. But nothing that good has happened, so I will just regal you with what has happened this year.

Christmas was a huge bright spot. The kids were great, the food, the presents, it was all really good. It was very hectic because I hosted Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, a Fight Night, and then New Years Eve party. So I was really busy and spent most of my time cleaning but it was a lot of fun.

Brian and I went to Vegas the second week of January. It wasn't a bad trip. But it wasn't a great trip either. We flew in on a Thursday evening and got to ride in a limo. The first time ever for me, which was kinda cool. Then we met up with a few other couples who were meeting us there. Friday was spent gambling, and walking around, Saturday night was an amazing dinner at Tao. Then dancing at a club called Tabu. This is where things started to go wrong. One of the girls we went with came down with the flu, and was stuck in the hotel room for most of the trip, and while dancing at Tabu, my phone fell out of my purse, and someone decided they wanted to keep it. But I know have a new phone, so all is right in the world.

Other than that, not much has happened. At least nothing really worthy. I'm considering a job change in the fall, we are planning a cruise for our 10 year anniversary in August, and going to DisneyLand in February.

So lets hope 2008 gets more exciting.

The week before Christmas

2007-12-17T08:54:00.000-08:00

Its the week before Christmas. Well 8 days before Christmas, and I have so many things to do. I need an extra 10 days at least.

I have to quilts to bind. This shouldn't take too long. If I cut the fabric and get it all on, then I should be able to finish them on Friday during quilt class. Friday is supposed to be my day off, but I'm watching my nephew. However, Brian is off also, and he doesn't know it yet, but he is going to be watching him for me.

I have a few presents to wrap still. Nothing major, at least I'm done buying them.

I have relatives coming in from out of town. They won't be staying at my house, just visiting so that helps.

Brian and I are going to a Christmas party tonight.

Then we are going to a hockey game on Thursday.

Oh did I mention my heater still doesn't work upstairs? So Brian has been working around the clock on that, at least when he isn't working at his day job.

I'm hosting Christmas Eve and Christmas Day at my house, and my house needs a major scrub down. However when you do daycare, it is pointless to do the major scrub down until all of the kids are gone for Christmas Break. I also need to make a menu for the two days, and make a Costco run at some point.

Don't even get me started on the months of January and February. Besides this is supposed to be about Christmas stress.

Tree Hunting

2007-12-10T08:47:00.000-08:00

Saturday we spent the day in the frigid mountains searching for the perfect Christmas tree. It was actually a good day. Family all got along, tree hunting didn't take but a few hours, and after we went for pizza, then yummy clam chowder for dinner.

Happy Thanksgiving

2007-11-27T11:42:00.000-08:00

I'm almost a week late on this. But who cares. Not I at the moment! I hope you all had a wonderful, eventful thanksgiving. Mine wasn't so bad. The family was good, the extended family was OK, the kids were crazy as usual.

This year we spent Thanksgiving with my husbands family. I love them all so very much. Seriously. I get along great with my in laws. The only thing that ruined my day a little was the talk of Christmas.

See with both of our families relatively close we try to do every other holiday. Last year Brian and I discussed hosting Christmas at our house. I agreed. However little did I know I was agreeing to every year of hosting. Not a big deal to be honest, except what about when its my side of the family? They won't come. They have a tradition. I enjoyed that tradition until I got married. Then I fight about the tradition every year.

Brian doesn't like to leave the house on Christmas. He doesn't like to bus the kids around and pull them away from their toys. He doesn't like to drive for 45 minutes to sit at someone else's house.

Me on the other hand. Love it. I have always loved it.

So we are at a crossroads. He wants to stay, I want to go. His parents think we are hosting Christmas, my parents think we are traveling with them.

How do we fix this? I have no freaking clue.

Bah Hum Bug

Being different is good....Right?

2007-11-15T09:11:00.000-08:00

I like to be different. Well kinda. I love owning things that nobody has, antique things, rare things, but not abnormal things.

In my house, I like to buy furniture that is very unlikely to be seen in anyones house. Same with my jewelry, purses, shoes, dresses, but that stops when it comes to my casual clothes.

That is weird to me.

I don't like to be to out of the norm when it comes to walking in the mall, or grocery shopping, or even walking the dog. I like to blend in, in those situations. I can't stand the thought of sticking out. Blend. Its all about blending and not being noticed. Which makes no sense since I love being the center of attention. I know, I'm a freak, and I'm OK with that.

The whole reason I started thinking of this topic was because Kyle Mclaren. He is my favorite hockey player, on my favorite home team, The San Jose Sharks.

Kyle is famous for his hip checks, fighting, and his signature yellow visor on his hockey helmet. Now if you aren't a hockey fan, you might be wondering what I am talking about. Similar to football players, hockey players wear helmets. Some have visors to protect their eyes, and the ones who do have visors, have clear visors.

But not Kyle. His is a beautiful yellow. He said he wears it because it helps him see better. I personally don't care why he wears it, but I always loved that he did, because it made him stand out. He was different. The only player in the NHL to wear a colored visor. My hero! He stands out, and doesn't care.

Well all that changed last week. He decided to go with a clear visor to try a different look he says. What?! He wants to conform and blend in? Oh the horror! How sad! Wait.....isn't that what I do? Huh, interesting. At first I was disappointed. I mean, it seemed like a really bold move, something that he has done for so long, why change it now? Then I got to thinking, why is he any different than me?

Just because he is used to playing in front of thousands of people, giving live TV interviews, being adored by fans, does that mean he is exempt from wanting to blend? Actually it probably makes the urge to blend in even stronger. I can only imagine the normalcy these players must crave. You never know when a crazed fan will track you down in Target and ask you to sign their shirt (on the back) and then ask for a picture, and respectfully shake your hand.

Anyways, good for you Kyle. I hope you find the normalcy you seek.

Why is it so hard?

2007-11-07T11:43:00.000-08:00

Exercise that is. I have the hardest time motivating myself. I have been a memeber of my local gym for about 4 years. I've gone maybe 30 times. My dad who lives next door has a personal gym in his garage. And yet, I still have to literally drag my butt over there to work out.

Once I start the workout though, I'm fine. I get into the groove, singing to my music, and can finish just fine. Its just getting started.

I do have a goal though, and you would think that would help motivate me. It doesn't. But it should. I'm going to Vegas in January with Brian for 2 nights and three glorious days. Childfree might I add. I'm so excited. Brian and I haven't been away from the kids for a full 24 hours let alone 2 days in 4 years!

Vegas however is full of nightclubs, and scantly clad women. No I don't feel I have to compete with them. But it would be nice to be in the same class. I want to buy some new jeans, expensive jeans, but I'm not going to splurge on them until the last minute. I am also in a wedding in March, with a very form fitting dress.

So if I can just get my butt in gear, workout 2-3 times a week for the next 8 weeks I should tone up and be nice and firm right?

I doesn't matter what I eat during that 8 weeks does it?

Halloween

2007-11-05T09:03:00.000-08:00

This years Halloween was pretty normal and uneventful. We did the normal tour of our neighborhood. Got loaded with candy, and went into a local haunted house.

Whne we got home we seperated the candy, let the kids pick one piece each, then ushered them to bed. After they were saftely tucked away in bed, mommy and daddy raided the candy. They got some great stuff, at least 10 full size candy bars/bags!

We still have two bowls full of candy, and I am still eating eat. Actually as I type this at 9:10 am I am eating a bag of Reeses Pieces! Get this candy out!

Living Your Childhood Dreams

2007-10-25T10:35:00.000-07:00

I was going to write today about dieting, and how much it sucks, but this guy, Professor Randy Pausch, has a much more important message that I would love to pass on to you.

is a father of three children under the age of five and a professor at Carnigie Mellon University and when he found out he had only a few months to live due to pancreas cancer, he did one "final talk" at his university.

It is truly an inspirational video. I really have no words its effect was to strong. Please watch and I hope it does the same for you, as it did for me.

Randy Pausch

Honey I don't care about gaining weight anymore

2007-10-23T09:00:00.000-07:00

Yes. That is what I said to my husband on Saturday. His reply? "Then I'm getting a girlfriend." And he was serious! Actually I don't think he was, but I know I scared the hell out of him.

See I'm a smaller girl, not as small as I used to be, but I've had three kids, and according to everyone, "you look great for having three kids." Isn't that like telling someone they look great for losing an eye or something? But that is another post completely.

Lately I have been in a slump. Which I am sure everyone gets in. I'm 27, three kids, hubby of almost 10 years. Not bad at all. But I tell you, its easier to want to let yourself go, when you have all of this security around. Brian wouldn't really leave me. I do way to much for him. Plus, I think he loves me or something like that.

Lets start with all the reasons its easy to let yourself go.

Three kids is a good one. If I'm not helping them with their homework, I'm running them to dance, piano, choir, or youth group. I don't get off work until 5, and then its dinner, and then showers, and then bedtime. By the time I get them to bed its 8, and I lay down on the couch, watch Myth Busters with Brian and fall asleep.

The gym is intimidating. Have you ever noticed that the only people who go to the gym, don't really need to? I never seen on flabby body there. And let me tell you, I've got some flab. Plus I have no clue what I'm doing. I don't like to sweat in front of people, even though that's what you do at the gym. I don't like to have people watch me, and even though nobody is, I just got over going to the mall alone without feeling like people think I'm a loser.

Another good excuse, the gym is far away. Never mind that while the kids are in choir and youth group two nights a week, I am literally down the street from the gym. On those nights I drive right past the gym to Old Navy and Barnes and Nobles. I have gotten some killer deals on the bargain racks!

So what it really comes down to, is I don't care. It is far easier to makes excuses as to why I can't exercise, then to actually make the effort. Right? Okay maybe not.

I have made a promise to myself to make an effort to exercise, for myself, yes. I don't want to feel like that mom who doesn't care. But also so Brian doesn't have to stress about finding a girlfriend.

Did I just say that?

2007-10-15T08:27:00.001-07:00

Did you ever have a moment where you were a little ashamed of yourself? Well mine came the other day.

My youngest, William who is 3, was playing with some trains in the living room. Brian was in the kitchen, and I was doing something in our room. Brian called me into the kitchen and told me to look at William. And there he is sitting on the floor, feeding a baby doll a bottle.

Now let me say that I have never played into the gender roles of girls not playing with trucks, and boys can't play house. But this scene kind of threw me off. I looked at him, and looked at the doll, then at my husband. Brian thought it was totally cute, and was talking to William about what he was doing.

I on the other hand freaked a little. And I cannot figure out why. Now I didn't go and grab the doll away, or tell him to stop. But the first thought that came to my mind was "what are you doing! Your a boy!" Then I stopped. Why shouldn't he play with dolls? Why did it bother me. Wasn't he preparing to be a good father? (Yes I know, looking way to far into the future) The fact that he was playing with this baby, and being loving, should have made me melt. It didn't, but I'm working on that.

See little girls can play with trucks, and play sports and that is cool. Makes them tough, shows that they are too girly, and can hang with the boys. So if its OK for girls do do boy things, why can't boys do girl things? Is the world so full of stereotypes that we are afraid what our boys might turn into if we allow them to play with girl things? I mean honestly what is the worst thing that can happen?

So while I was ashamed of myself for my minor freak out, it also made me think. Which is always a good thing.

October means Pumpkins

2007-10-08T09:25:00.000-07:00

So today Brian and I took the kids on our annual Pumpkin Patch Trip. We have been going for about 8 years and love it. Last year we added a romp to the beach after the pumpkin patch and it is always an amazing time.

We started off by driving only Highway 1 through Half Moon Bay and took some pictures of one of my favorite Lighthouses.

Then it was off to the pumpkin patch where the kids enjoyed tumbling in the hay,

Searching for the perfect pumpkin

And riding the pony

Then after all of that fun, we went to our beach. Well it isn't our beach, but we go there a lot, and the last two years applied this beach to our pumpkin patch trip.

We hunt for rocks, which I keep in a glass jar in my bedroom. We search out shells, and sand crabs, sand dollars, sea anemones, star fish. All of it.

It was a perfect day.

The Great Mofo Delurk 2007

2007-10-04T09:18:00.000-07:00

OK people I was reading PoppyMom and she had this nifty (yes I said nifty) little square on her page.

I have noticed that I get a lot more hits than comments. Hey I like comments! I like to feel all special, like someone is actually reading what I am writing. But I admit I'm as guilt as most of you when it comes to commenting. Sometimes I forget, and other times I just have nothing to say!

But I will work on it if you will. So lets do this. Comment away, even if it is totally random, let me hear you!

Breast Cancer

2007-10-02T09:03:00.001-07:00

October is breast cancer awareness month. Breast cancer is the most common cancer in women according to the American Cancer Society.

I have two family members who have battled this horrible cancer. One my much loved grandmother, who while passed the 5 year mark for surviving breast cancer, later succumbed to bone cancer. And my husbands aunt Rita. She is at year number 4 in remission, and doing wonderful.

I would like to encourage everyone, man or woman to do monthly breast exams. It can't hurt anything, and a lot of time in these cancers early detection is key.

You can also fund free mammograms to women how cannot afford to get this important test by clicking The Breast Cancer Site So please not only in October, but all year long, but Breast Cancer smart, and test yourself.

New Projects

2007-09-28T09:36:00.000-07:00

I'm a quilter. Yup you heard me. I sit at my sewing machine in my dining room and I make quilts. Forget 27 going on 35, its more like 75! But thats ok. I love it. I'm not the greatest at it, but it is great for gift giving, and people actually appreciate them. I'm hoping one day they will be passed down through my children as heirlooms to their children etc.

So anyways, I just finished the top of a quilt for my stepsister. Its her Christmas present, and a total suprise to her

The pattern is by Diane Weber called Day Z SplitZ. I tweaked it a little, and frankly didn't care for her directions, but I loved the outcome.

So now I just have to get it quilted, because I don't do that part, I just don't know how to machine quilt a top. Hey! That makes me closer to 70 than 75!

Anyways, lets do a shuffle because it is Friday!

1. I'm not the One -The Cars
2.Otherside- Red Hot Chile Peppers
3.Love Stoned- Justin Timberlake
4.Life In Mono- Mono
5.Guantanamera- Wyclef
6.How Can I Stop- The Rolling Stones
7.Saint Of Me- The Rolling Stones
8. What I Got-Sublime
9.You Don't Have To Mean It- Rolling Stones
10. Let's Face It- Mighty Mighty Bossetones.

Looks like the day of the Stones. Or I need to add more music.

Regrets in Life

2007-09-27T11:23:00.000-07:00

I am the treasurer at my kids' school. Well not of the school, but the PTF (Parent Teacher Fellowship) So that means I like money, and I like organization. The two go hand in hand really, for accounting. (To bad I can't apply my organization skills to my house.) Anyways, loving my mini job at the school, got me thinking about a career. True I have a career now, watching kids, and keeping books of my own business is no easy task. But what about when my kids are in school, and I want to pursue a future in the working world?

Well as most of you know, I got pregnant in high school. My senior year, and got married that summer. So I didn't go to college. Didn't pursue any kind of accounting courses, or anything that would help me in my future. That is probably the only thing I regret. Can I really call it a regret though? I didn't go to college, but I married a great man, was able to stay home with my beautiful baby, and make a living while spending time with my family. So regret? No. Bad planning? Possibly.

I'm contemplating returning to school though. William, my youngest is three. He is in preschool two days a week, next year, three days a week, and then the following year, Kindergarten. Which means, that unless I have another child, I will be quiting daycare. Which also means, I better find some other way of making money. And unless I finish my book, which I have yet to start, I don't see me being able to stay home and live the leisurely life.

I am picky though. I don't want to attend night school. I sure as hell can't attend day school. So I'm trying to find courses online, that will teach me skills, and also look good on a resume. Are my standards to high? Am I setting myself up for a big let down because online courses are not available? I certainly hope not. While I don't need a degree to make me feel like a whole person. It would be nice to have one in case I ever needed it.

Because I am only 27, and I will eventually have all of my kids in school. I will need to find a way to make money. Even if it is just a little.

So regrets? Nah, but a better plan for the future.

27 going on 35

2007-09-24T08:42:00.000-07:00

Today is my birthday and I am 27 years young. However when I look at where I am in my life, and where other 27 year old people are I feel like I am 35.

Take for instance the fact that I have three kids. Not a big deal right? Well when you consider the fact that my oldest will be 9 in January, then that makes a little difference. Not to mention that out of all of my friends, aside from my brother and sister-in-law, we are the only ones with kids. In fact most of my friends got married this past year.

Another fact. I have been married for 9 years this past August, and my husband and I have been a couple for 12 years this coming October. Now that means I have been in the same relationship since I was 15! Not that it matters to me. I couldn't be happier with my life, its just a long time when you look at how young I was.

But you know what? Its OK. I don't mind that I can relate to people who are 35 year old. I can still relate to 20 somethings, 40 somethings. I actually don't have an age group that I feel I can relate more to than others. Or a people group for that matter.

Sure I'm a mom, but obviously I can get along with women who aren't. And I do daycare, but that doesn't mean I don't know anything about the corporate world. I'm on the PTF board at my kids' school, but does that mean I can't relate to the woman who hates the functions? Nope.

So I guess while today is my birthday, and I'm getting closer to the 30 something world, I really don't see it affecting me much. Age truly is a number. It doesn't define us, well at least it doesn't define me.

Good-Bye Bill

2007-09-17T08:29:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, September 16, 2007, the world lost a wonderful father, husband, brother, uncle, grandfather, and great grandfather.

Bill died in his home surrounded by his sons, daughter-in-law, and wife of 30 years. He lost his battle with cancer.

He was a truly great person. I never heard him raise his voice. He loved his family and would do anything for them.

Papa, give Kristen a hug for me in Heaven. Look after us, and help us help Nana, she is lost without you.

We love you so.

Bill Sadler May 2, 1931 - Sept. 16, 2007 Bill died at home surrounded by his family. Born in Perkins, OK., his family and his uncle's family moved to CA when he was 5 yrs. old. Bill is survived by his 2 children; son Randy and his wife Georgia of SC; daughter Cindy Moffatt and her husband Jim of Mc Kenleyville. He is also survived by his wife Catherine and her 4 children: Mark (Debbie), Steven (Tammy) of Austin, TX., Jeff (Rita) and Theo. He leaves behind 3 sisters, Carol, Pat, and Debra; 9 grandchildren, Brian, Matt, Laura, Bryan, Haley, Travis, Jessica, Shannon and Joseph; also 5 great-grandchildren with another due in March. He shared many memories with his cousin Jack. Bill is preceded in death by his sisters, Mary Jo and June, his son Douglas and his granddaughter Kristin. He is retired from FMC where he still has many friends. He loved most of all to be around children. The family thanks Hospice of the Valley, especially Coleen for the special care she gave Bill. A Memorial Service for Bill will be held at Oak Hill Funeral Home in the Chapel of Roses at 10 a.m. on Thurs., Sept. 20th, 300 Curtner Ave., San Jose, CA. 95125.
Published in the San Jose Mercury News on 9/18/2007.

http://www.legacy.com/mercurynews/obituaries.asp?Page=SEARCHRESULTS

Tears

2007-09-11T09:28:00.000-07:00

Remember a few weeks ago, when William began preschool and I wanted just a few tears? Well today, after three weeks I got them. And I broke my heart into a million pieces.

We did the normal routine, took his sisters for flag salute, prayer, walked Victoria to class, saw the turtles, walked William to class. And he was fine! We walked in and he wanted to run to the playground, I reminded him we had to sign in, no biggie.

Well just as I'm about to leave all hell breaks loose. He wants me to hold him, doesn't want me to stand up, wants me to kneel down and hug him. He was crying and saying "don't leave me, don't leave me!"

But I had to right! I mean I couldn't just bring him home! I did not want him to think every time he didn't want to stay at school he could throw a fit and come home.

So I leave, I give him one last kiss, big hug and tell him I love him very much. Well I get out the door and MY tears start falling! I wasn't expecting that. And no it isn't because I'm some tough mom who doesn't feel anything for her children, its just that this isn't the first time he has cried when I have left. In fact Friday we had a sitter and the same scene happened!

But I cried all the way to the car, then I waved to him one more time. I was heartbreaking.

I'm trying to figure out why the breakdown this morning. He got in trouble yesterday. He flooded the upstairs bathroom by flushing a roll of toilet paper down. Causing a huge mess, and having the ceiling almost cave in on the first floor. He was sent to his room for about 30 minutes.

This morning he got in a tiny amount of trouble. If you can call it that. Julia spilled water all over Williams clothes, and I told him to change his shirt, keep on the shorts. Well he comes down in different pants, and same shirt. So I took him back up the stairs, changed him quick, and heard him tell his sisters "mommy is so mad at me now."

So its possible that I'm the cause of the breakdown at school, which is making me feel even worse, which just goes to show that I deserved every little break in my heart this morning, and the ripple effect it caused with William is my fault, and I will probably pay for a long time.

Great. Bring on the Mother Of The Year award.

I'm going to go cry now.

Dots, Squares, Astrix

2007-09-06T09:42:00.000-07:00

So today is what some refer to as a Dotty day, I'm going to use Astrix.

*Back to school is great. Kids are on a schedule, and my daycare days aren't so crazy. However I miss my kids and sometimes wonder if I am selling myself short continuing daycare.

*While some think the money in daycare is amazing, I am here to say they are wrong. Sure you make money, but at a huge cost. Furniture never stays nice, I am tied to my house from the hours of 8:15-5:15. I am a mommy to about 7 kids a day. And that isn't including my own. I usually have to miss my kids' parties at school, field trips, and my doctor appointments are a pain to schedule.

*While I complain about daycare, and fantasize about getting all dressed up and going into a nice office, where I get a lunch break, can get off early for doctor appointments, or take a sick day to spend the day with my kids. Daycare isn't so bad. Unless of course you just read my last sentence.

*I have been a very good girl about staying in my budget this month. Granted its only the 6Th, but hey, I gotta start somewhere.

*I'm jonesing for a new bedroom set, and hubby was offered a nearly new trailer for a great deal. However these are not in the budget! I must repeat that phrase at least 20 times a day.

*William is loving school. Loves his teachers, the toys, the lunches. But he keeps having accidents. The first day he did amazing. No accidents, no timeouts. Perfect. However every day since then he has had an accident. And in the case of Tuesday, two accidents. No at least he only goes two days a week, because the laundry for this kid is killing me.

*I am going to a wedding tomorrow. Great! I love weddings! But, I don't have time to get my toes done, find shoes, figure out what to do with my hair, or buy the present. That means tonight I am going to be running all over town, after I get off work, make dinner, and take Julia to Piano. YAY!

*Oh and I also received a load of guilt this morning from Julia, because we can't start Tap lessons until next week, because mommy has a wedding to go to. "You always go to weddings!" Mind you this is the second of the summer. And thankfully the last until March.

*Have a great weekend, since I probably won't have time to stop in tomorrow, if I do however I will promise a shuffle. In fact, that might be all you get.

Its Friday

2007-08-31T18:34:00.001-07:00

Normally Fridays are a load of fun. Well relaxing fun at least. But this Friday, Brian is gone with my girls camping for the night and won't return until tomorrow afternoon. Which means its William and I. And to be honest people.....I'm BORED. I'm a horrible mother aren't I? Eh its just a funk....I'll snap out of it.

Lets do a shuffle and see what we get-

1. I'm Sensitive - Jewel
2. I'm not the one - The Cars
3. Lucky- Britney Spears (now that is embarrassing!)
4. Sam's Town - The Killers
5. Bling- The Killers
6. White and Nerdy- Weird Al
7. Losing my way - Justin Timberlake
8. Wheel in the sky - Journey
9. That's what friends are for- Stevie Wonder
10. I will come to you - The Hansons

Wow, well it wasn't much of a pick up, but did reveal two embarrassing music choices!

Mommy he's naked!

2007-08-30T12:54:00.000-07:00

What? Who?!

The hermit crab, that's who. Did you know when they shed their shells to find a new home, take a bath to cool off, or just walk around, a three year old will shout about nakedness?

Oh yeah, and it was so funny. Anyone who came into the house, or would give William two seconds would get an ear full about our naked hermit crab.

Did you know hermit crabs are extremely ugly when naked? Well consider yourself told.

School Days

2007-08-29T10:39:00.000-07:00

So my baby started school yesterday. Preschool that is. I had no idea it was going to affect me the way it did. With the girls I wasn't an emotional mess. I took them to their little classes, did the pictures and off they went.

Not so with William. I have been trying to figure out why his first day of preschool had me in a heap of tears before midday.

The conclusion is not pretty.

By the time I was 10 years old, I played the role of mother to my sister, who at the time was 6 years old. We had parents yes, but my dad worked nights, and my mom worked into the night. So I learned to do the laundry, cook dinner, arrange my dads clothes on the bed just right, and pack our lunches for school.

It wasn't so bad, but it could explain why I don't care for making lunches, doing laundry and cooking dinner now. But that's another day.

When I was 17 years and got married I went straight from doing my mother role at my dads house, to my own house and started to do it with my husband. Then along came baby number 1, fondly called Julia. And the constant need was there. She needed me for everything, and since Brian worked nights, it was just her and I.

Then came baby number 2, Victoria. Julia was 3 1/2 when Victoria was born, so she was getting out of that stage where she needed me for everything. Granted the obvious meals, cleaning yada yada, but she didn't need me so much emotionally. She had her friends at school, her dance class, things that she enjoyed more than just being with mommy.

So Victoria was the one who needed me. And I felt complete again. William was born with Victoria was 13 days shy of being 2. He was a lovely surprise, and took up more of my need to be needed. I will admit it was difficult juggling the need of two small children, but I was in my element.

Now that Julia is 8, Victoria 5, and William 3 I'm not feeling needed so much. Of course they need me, but not the need of a tiny baby, or a struggling toddler. They are becoming independent. They are growing up.

I'm not liking it!

Well let me say, I am liking the lack of diaper. (Knock on wood, that William keeps up the good work), I am liking the lack of formula, and the teething. But I sure miss the midnight cuddles, a little baby falling asleep in your arms, the NEED.

As you can imagine I was shocked at the revelation. Only because I am supposed to be enjoying this new found freedom of motherhood. This is when my life is supposed to become easier. A little Me-time.

But who said I wanted it? I think this is how a mother of 3, or any children for that matter, and a wife, can completely lose herself in her family, and feel helpless when the time comes that the need is gone.

One of those days

2007-08-25T12:35:00.000-07:00

So yesterday was one of those days where everything was crazy.

It started out with going to the doctor. Victoria needed six shots for Kindergarten. So the kids and I went to the doctor. It was totally packed of course, with mothers who were doing the exact same thing as me. The Friday before school get all the shots done. Now I had no clue she needed six, and I was pretty upset when I didn't have any warning to give her some Tylenol. But she took it like a pro, screaming of course, but who wouldn't with six shots!

Then it was off to my side of the doctors to get blood drawn from me. The kids enjoyed that one. All three curled up in a ball, cringing and biting their nails as if it were them.

Then off to McDonald's to get a little sympathy lunch for Victoria. Healthy or not, it hit the spot perfectly.

Then off to the pet store to purchase some hermit crabs for the kids. Well that didn't go over so well. I had no clue what to get, so we decided to wait for daddy, and you can imagine how well that went over. Dragging three kids out of a store with no pet. Disaster!

Then home to clean. Which I did. Sorta. See I clean all the rooms that people see, in the order that they see them. I clean the front room, the the kitchen, then the bathroom, dinning room, and so on.

Dave came over, a friend of ours, and while he was here (he has no kids) he looked at me as if I was crazy, because he knows I want another. The kids were running around crazy. William who I am trying to potty train, decided to go to the bathroom. Great! Well I got distracted, and realized that he had been missing for a bit. So I go upstairs to the kids' bathroom. And the toilet was totally overflowed. An inch of water all over the floor! I was beyond mad. Not because it was an accident, but because went through this before. I had 20 minutes to clean up all the water, the tiny bits of toilet paper all over the damn floor, and rush out of the house for Julia's piano lessons.

So I clean, say good-bye to Dave, and rush the kids out to the car. Well Julia and Victoria start screaming that a chocolate milkshake spilled all over the car. OK I rush the car to start to attempt to clean it up, and the passenger door is locked and I set off the alarm. Well I can't find my keys! I'm running around like a chicken with her head cut off, and guess where the keys were. In my pocket. I seriously broke down and cried.

Well after that, the day was fairly smooth. I really don't think I could have taken much more anyways.

Mr. Sandman

2007-08-21T12:07:00.000-07:00

Dear Mr. Sandman,

Can you please pay a visit to my kids? They are desperate for sleep. I promise to repay you.

Poor Julia, the growing pains are unbearable. She comes into my room in the middle of the night, standing over my bed whispering until I wake. The fact that she whispers into my ear to wake me, and doesn't grab and shake is very sweet. But it also brings to mind horror movies where someone is standing over you. If that doesn't give your heart a jump, I don't know what will. Her little legs are hurting her, and this is the 4Th night in a row. If you help Julia I promise to not call on you for myself.

Now I realize asking for help for Julia is a tall order. But I have one more problem. That problem being named Will. Little Will, sleep eludes him like no other child. He can only go about three hours before he is screaming for mommy. He doesn't venture downstairs like Julia. Well rather he would, but I cut him off. If I let him make it into my room, there is no turning back and he would be in bed sleeping with me. I'm not sure why he doesn't sleep. No nightmares, no growing pains, just not sleeping. And this is going on....hmmm let me think.....yeah about THREE YEARS. Three years, in 20 minute intervals, starting at 2:00am. Now I am trying to be a patient mommy. But this mommy needs some sleep too. See its not like I can nap during the day, you know work and all. So just a few nights of straight sleep would be wonderful.

I realize you are busy Mr. Sandman, but I need some sleep. Anything you can offer would be wonderful.

Sincerely

One tired Mommy

Honeymoon Stage

2007-08-20T08:41:00.000-07:00

Brian and I will be married for 10 years on the 1st of August 2008. Wow. Its a little crazy to think that I'm 26 (soon to be 27) and yet married longer than my parents. (Who are obviously divorced, and moved on to second marriages.)

Brian and I have a very interesting relationship. We are truly friends and yet we love each other so much. The two of us were at a meeting on Thursday and one woman said to me, "Even though you have been married for 9 years, I can't tell. Its like your still in the honeymoon stage." And I took that as a huge compliment.

See when I was growing up, and even into my teen years, I didn't have a lot of adult relationships around me that made me desire marriage. Wait let me ref raise that. I desired marriage and a family, I just didn't know any ones marriage who I would like to mirror. No great role-model marriages I guess.

But our marriage.......Is something that was extremely rough in the beginning and yet I couldn't imagine in any different now.

Being married at 17 comes with a lot of problems. See you aren't really mature enough to understand all that goes into a marriage. Granted, I was a pretty mature 17 year old, but I still had no clue. And it wasn't just the duties of being a wife, like housework, dinners, that kind of thing, I thought once I got married all the insecurities, and jealousy would magically disappear.

Boy was I dumb.

I think I became more jealous, and more insecure. Now why I became more insecure is a complete mystery to me. Brian always praised me, never put me down, and it isn't like my looks got flushed down the toilet. But I think I lost myself in marriage, (and the fact that I was pregnant/young mom didn't help.) And the jealousy? Only made worse because instead of losing a boyfriend if something went wrong, I would lose a husband and the daddy of my child.

Well obviously a lot of time spent freaking out, and worrying about being one of those old married couples who don't show affection, even in their home let alone in public freaked me out enough to get myself calmed down and enjoy myself.

So today, we are a happy couple. Who can joke, tease, annoy each other as if they were the best of friends, or dare I say siblings. Yet we also have our inside jokes, our finishing each others thoughts, or personal times.

Are there times when jealousy and insecurities come into my life? Sure! And there are times when I still feel lost in marriage, and motherhood. Where its like I am not my own person, but that is another blog entirely.

But for today. For my marriage. I am truly happy.

Two times in one week!

2007-08-16T08:25:00.000-07:00

Well look at this. Its my second time updating my blog in one week!

Do you ever put too much on your plate? Not food wise, but commitments? I do daycare Mon-Thurs, which isn't too much. But you can bet by the end of the day that I am tired. But on top of that, I signed up for a bible study on Wednesday nights. I am the Treasurer of our PTF (which is the same as the PTF) at my kids' school, we serve Communion and greet once a month at church, and of course I have my quilting classes every other Friday night.

Now this week I have had something going on every single night. And it is kinda freaking my kids out. Never mind that I am home with them all day long, granted with 20 million other children, but I am home. But when I go to leave they lose it. At least the two youngest do. First it starts out with just one hug and kiss, then back to doing whatever they were doing. Then it is just one more hug, this time a little longer, which eventually ends up with them chasing me outside, while Brian is holding them back screaming for Mommy.

I don't know if its an actual fear that I won't come home, that something bad will happen, or the fact that I have been home since they were babies, that they don't like the thought of me being gone. Or simply that I am not home to cater to them.

But anyways, Tuesday I was gone at a PTF meeting until 10. Wednesday I was at my bible study (which ended last night) until 10, and tonight Brian and I are both going to a meeting and then dinner so a sitter will be putting them to bed. Then tomorrow is my quilt class, which I won't be returning home until.....Yup you guessed it 10.

I am feeling extremely guilty. I know that I need sometime to do things, but I hate the meltdowns that happen when I leave, and I hate the fact that I am not home to put the kids to bed.

Next week isn't going to be much better, especially since school is starting, and the meetings are going to be happening for the next couple of weeks.

Is there anything worse than mother guilt? I dare you to find it.

Its Been a Long Time

2007-08-14T09:32:00.000-07:00

OK its time for me to step up a bit. I have been slacking on the blogging, and I forget how soothing it is to come to the computer, poor out my guts, and not have it say a word back.

Today I am going to blog about my current need for a child. Yes I realize I have 3 kids. Yes, I realized they are healthy and I should count my blessings. And I do, every single day I am grateful for my kids, their health, and their constant need to talk back and have attitude. I kid, I kid!

I am 26 now, going on 27 and this overwhelming urge to have children is encompassing my every thought. See my youngest child, William, is 3. 3! That means, that since I have started this baby making service I call pregnancy, this time frame is the longest I have gone without being pregnant.

Now I know what you are thinking. She must be one of those super cute, doesn't gain weight, easy pregnant ladies. Couldn't be further from the truth my friends. I gain on average 50 pounds with each child. My face swells to the size of a watermelon, and the last two pregnancies have been nothing but problems.

So why, you ask? Why do I insist on doing these horrible things to my body? Well for starters I love kids. How else would I be able to do daycare for an average of 8 kids 4 days a week. I also just love big families. Yes in today's day and age, a family of 5 is rather large, but I always thought I would have 5 kids. So while 3 is kind of in the middle, 4 would be more complete.

However Brian, and in case you didn't know he is my husband of 9 years, is perfectly content with 3. See we got married at 17 and 20, and have had kids since we were married. So he is finally happy that we are done with diapers, and bottles. The littlest one is going to be starting school soon and we are planning our first long vacation without the kids. Next August he wants to take a cruise. Just the two of us. Which I am very much looking for. But that means no babies this year.

And the longer we put it off, the bigger the age difference with the kids, the more I won't want to start over. I actually think its all part of his plan to not have anymore.

So as of right now, its a stand off. I'm being a good girl, not dropping the pills down the sink, and listening to his reasoning. But the urge is so strong.

But I'll check in more often and I'll update you. We shall see who wins this face off.

The interview

2007-04-19T08:24:00.000-07:00

These are a few questions that
">http://dixiepeach.blogspot.com/
has asked me in order to learn more about me.

1. How did you become a hockey fan? Is it a more recent passion or have you always followed the sport?

I have been a hockey fan since 1995 or so . There is just something great about the sport that I feel in love with. It is one of those great sports that I can watch on TV or in person, or listen to on the radio and still love it.

2. You became a mom at a relatively young age. Do you think it turned out to be an advantage for you or a disadvantage or in the long run did your age not make much of a difference?

I was 17 when I found out I was pregnant with Julia, and 18 when she was born. It was hard. I wasn't out of school yet, I wasn't married, and I was only a supervisor at a deli. I was so scared. But everything feel into place. Brian and I got married, we moved in together and lived happily ever after. OK maybe not so sweet and simple, but we did make it, and I don't regret a single minute of it. I don't know if age had much to do with it. I mean I did what had to be done.

3. I know you love all three of your kids but are there times when you feel closer to one or another child, perhaps due to a special circumstance at the time?

Each one of the kids has something special that brings them close. Julia was my first, and she is just like me. Same little attitude, yet very sensitive. Having her so young, made me grow up. She is also my hockey buddy. She is a huge fan, and I take her to every game that is on a weekend. She has her own jersey and everything.

Victoria was my planned baby. And also a miracle. I lost a baby before her, and then while I was pregnant with her I formed an antibody against her blood. I have O- blood, and for some reason, my blood cells think the babies blood is and infection, and tries to kill the blood cells. So making it through the pregnancy with her was difficult. She is my girly girly. Loves dress up, babies, all that stuff.

William was also a miracle baby. He was also a surprise. At 12 weeks I hemorrhaged for 3 days. The doctors did an ultrasound on the first day of hemorrhaging and informed me my body was trying to abort him, and they didn't think I would make it past the weekend. Well Monday morning he was still alive and kicking. Then I got placenta previa, which thankfully corrected itself before he was born. But I had to have an emergency c-section anyways. He is my little man. So sweet, so loving and yet all boy. He is so attached to me at this age, that I just feel so special.

4. California's your home but if you were going to move to another state, which would you prefer to move to? And what foreign country would you want to move to if you had to?

I haven't really spent time in to many states so that is a tough choice. But where ever I moved I
would have to live close to the ocean with beautiful beaches. And foreign country? France. My ancestors were from there and I would love to learn about their hometown and culture.

5. You've got a talent for quilting. Is there a part of quilt making that you like best or feel is your strongest talent? What part do you like least?

I love making quilts, but I am fairly new at it, so I don't know a lot of different types. I do love picking patterns and challenging myself. I love things that are different. I try to put a spin on things, I'm don't really want to see the same kind of quilt I just made at someones house. The part I like the least is the cutting. You have to be very precise and sometimes cutting all the fabric can take hours, and that is just so time consuming!

Tired

2007-03-29T12:33:00.000-07:00

Do you ever get tired of doing it all? And I mean ALL! I do all the housework, bills, cooking....you name it. So you can imagine my frustration when I have to be the one to put the "wooing" back into a relationship. Why is it that men totally forget how to do this? They get married, and then figure they can sit around on there ass, flirt with anyone else, but their wife? Why would I flirt with her?

Pissed me right off.

Thats all.

Lifes random thoughts

2006-09-07T14:05:00.000-07:00

Lifes random thoughts

I am stealing this idea from my friend Poppy, she is so fun to read and I recommend you take a look.

Things that make me happy
My children learning from and enjoying shows on Animal planet

Things that make me sad
Losing Steve Irwin, whom I consider a hero

Things that make me happy
Moving into a new huge house with room for my family

Things that make me sad
Not having enough time to decorate it yet

Things that make me happy
Quiting soda for 2 weeks!

Things that make me sad
Falling off the soda wagon, and getting a sore from the soda.

Things that make me happy
Deciding to make homemade jams, jellies, and salsa for the holidays

Things that make me sad
Not yet finding time to attempt let alone perfect the perfect jams, jellies, and salsas.

Things that make me happy
Watching my daughter play with the blocks I made for her quilt

Things that make me sad
Having a year, and still not being done with the damn quilt

Finally things that make me happy
Knowing my family loves me despite my downfalls.

Have a good day!

Steve Irwin

2006-09-06T10:23:00.000-07:00

R.I.P Crocodile Hunter

My family and I will miss you greatly.

Kickboxing

2006-03-14T14:00:00.000-08:00

Ok tonight. 6:40pm. Where will I be? Hopefully at the gym doing a kickboxing class! My sister is getting married in 3 months and I am her maid of honor. And I have put on a few pounds. So off to kickboxing I will go. Sounds easy right? And it really is. Get in the car, drive, walk to class, do kickboxing. Done.

Not so fast. Can someone please tell my why classrooms at the gym are like fishbowls? I mean seriously! Do you really wanna watch people do classes, being totally sweaty, and if you are watching me, trying to follow the steps without falling down?

It isn't fun to watch. And yet people do! They stand at the glass and they look. Just like you are at the aquarium. "Oh look at that fish in the purple! How graceful" "Whoops look at the blue fish he just ran into another fish" C'mon people there must be something better to do than stand there and give people complexes!

This is why I have a hard time going to kickboxing. I hate to be watched. HATE IT. And maybe you aren't looking at me. But If you are standing at the glass looking in the room I feel like you are starring at me.

So if you have any compassion. The next time you are at the gym. And you happen across one of these fishbowls. With people inside trying desperately to keep up. Just walk away. I would appreciate it!

It finally happened

2006-02-08T14:01:00.000-08:00

My husband and I went to a hockey game on Monday night with a dear friend of my husbands . Now you all know I am a huge hockey fan. Not just any hockey team though. My boys, The San Jose Sharks. They hold the key to my heart!

Ok so we get to the game, have good seats, enjoying the game. They are actually winning. Then they are losing. THats ok though, I am at the game. And I refuse to believe I am bad luck, even though I have never been to a winning game.

Ok so second period ends and we are down by 3. This is starting to suck a little. But my boys play their best in the third period. So I am not to worried.

So my hubby and I go to the bathroom, our friend goes to talk to some of his other friends who happend to be at the game also.

Well we come back from the bathroom. Wheres Andy? Not sure, so we sit and wait.

And the third period is about to start. Then comes Andy. "COme on guys" he says. So we follow. And guess where he is taking us?

C'mon guess? Okay give up?

He took us to sit with his friends, who have season tickets right behind the sharks' bench. Three rows back. We can smell the sweat, feel the ice. It was amazing.

And I start to have an anxiety attack. I am not kidding. I can't breath, my heart was beating out of my chest, I am as red as red gets, and my boys haven't even come out of the locker room!

Then it happens. They walk out. The are 10 feet away from me. My breathing gets worse, my face gets redder. I was so excited, my knees were actually numb.

Then one looked at me. We made eye contact. I am not kidding. It was one of my favorite players. It was really brief, and it wasn't an "I love you" look. But it was amazing.

Then they start to score. They score twice in 5 minutes! I am totally pumped, yelling, clapping, everything.

Well, it comes down to the final minutes, and they lose. But it was the greatest game ever! I will never be able to beat that. Even if I go to a winning game!

Ok my story was good, but this guy, Andy, his rendition is much better. So enjoy! Andrew's Story

Meme

2006-01-31T10:04:00.000-08:00

Ok I stole this from Barefoot.

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what did you think?
My hair actually looks good today.

2. How much cash do you have on you?
$20.00

3. What's a word that rhymes with 'TEST'?
Best

4. Favorite planet?
Earth

5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?
The doctors

6. What is your favorite ring on your phone?
The good life by weezer

7. What shirt are you wearing?
A blue t-shirt with swirls and a girl on it

8. Do you 'label' yourself?
Nope

9. Name the brand of shoes you're currently wearing now.
Adidas.

10. Bright or Dark Room?
Bright

11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?
Barefoots my girl!

12. What were you doing at midnight last night?
Sleeping

13. What did your last text message you received on your cell say?
Don't have one.

14. Where is your nearest 7-11?
About 2 miles

15. What's a saying(s) that you say a lot?
No way!

16.Who told you they loved you last?
Brian

17. Last furry thing you touched?
My jacket lol!

18. How many days of school did you miss this week?
I am not in school

19. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed?
Two

20. Favorite age you have been so far?
Hmmm 20 rocked

21. Your worst enemy?
I don't think I have one

22. What is your current desktop picture?
A big great white with his mouth open. Love sharks

23. What was the last thing you said to someone?
Stop that, in refrence to my kids

24. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly, which would you choose?
Money, I am afraid of heights

25. Do you like someone?
Of course

26. The last song you listened to?
Amber by 311

27. Carmen Electra or Pam Anderson?
Carmen, no contest.